HOW I WENT FROM HALF-A-CUP TO FULL SURRENDER

"Half a cup" I offer my coffee mug to the server, holding my hand to halt the pour like Moses raising his staff to command the Red Sea.

Every so often, she swings by the booth and we go through the same motions. By the end of a quick breakfast, I've downed the entire pot.

I try to manage God like I manage my coffee - on my own terms.

Blessings? To the brim, please! Hard times? No way, not a drop.

We want life served up extra light and extra sweet, and forget about the original bitter. We forget that the aroma we love comes after the grinder.

Beneath every "half cup" is an attempt to limit God's control over our lives, even though we hope He comes back around to give us more.

One unsettling afternoon, my faithful mom tried to assure me that God had a good plan in mind.

"It's going to be OK, Nikki. You're all going to be OK. God is in control."…I couldn't dispute her, not then, not ever. But my heart questioned her confidence. Is God really controlling this situation? Because it's not looking so good."

-Nikki S. White "Me, Mom, & Jesus"

On that day, I realized that within every control freak brews a rebellion that creates more anxiety and fear, not less.

When you try to control the uncontrollable, you're robbed of peace because you're assuming a role you weren't born for.

You were born at God's command, not the other way around.

But if you call yourself a control freak, there's hope for you, too. Jesus showed us how to go from half-cup to full surrender.

Being human, Jesus struggled to take control of the plan, "Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? Father, save me from this hour?"

Being One with God, Jesus knew that surrender would usher in God's peace, "Father, glorify Your name!" (John 12:27-28)

Jesus surrendered to His Father moment by moment—not just at the beginning, but all the way to the cross. Even there, He could have commanded His angel army to save Him. But He chose to pour out His life and love without measure to all who believe.

So, hold out your cup and let God fill it. Then do that over and over again.

Before you know it, you'll have fully surrendered every drop of your will to His.